As of late, I have had a number of students and clients who have been working through the challenge of climbing the insurmountable mountain of Perfection. The general feeling of fatigue, exhaustion and self flagellation of constantly doing and not meeting their expectations OR not doing due to the fear of not meeting expectations, have dimmed the light on these beautiful vibrant souls.
Striving for perfection stops us from being the best that we can be.
Our ‘I AM’ selves are already perfect. The ‘I AM’ is the God-sense within – and therefore, in human terms, is the A+ in the report card. What all the other parts of us have to do is to acknowledge, realise, and embody our ‘I AM’ part. Once integrated, we can truly BE the best that we are.
The quest for Perfection stems from trying really hard to compensate from a perceived lack from within. The lack could be something that is fed into us by conditioning, or it could be a life challenge that we have chosen to learn in this incarnation.
When I was a child of nine, I had a school friend who used to come to school with red lashes all over her legs, because her mother would cane her if she did not get the perfect score in exams, or was the top student. My friend would always try her best, but she was always so wracked with fear for being punished for not being perfect. At worst, she froze, or she never could perform at her best.
The quest for perfection is counter productive to Being the Best that we can Be.
Now, by society’s standards, she is successful. However she is always self critical, self judging and is never happy or satisfied with her accomplishments because they are never perfect. In her mind, she is an abject failure, working herself to the bone to keep proving herself. Whilst the wounds on her legs have long since healed, the scars in her heart are still as open and raw as the day she’s got them, and the light that use to shine from her eyes, remain dim.
There seems to be an illusion that there is a marker for Being the ‘perfect’ person, to get the ‘perfect’ results, to be the ‘perfect’ mother / father / employee / child / spouse or any other label that we can think of. What is the standard of ‘Perfection’ and who has set this marker?
The marker of perfection is a creation of society. We have all been conditioned to meet certain pre-set standards that have been set – yet this an ever – changing marker. The truth is Absolute Perfection as a standard does not exist, and thus is an elusive goal. Yet, the perfectionists beat themselves up for not meeting this goal. In the beating of themselves, they do not see how truly magnificent they and we all really are.
Perfection is marked by our Ego Selves. Ego is conditioned to believe that perfection avoids judgement and criticism from self or others. Working from Ego, we do not embody our own Divine resonance from our ‘I AM’. ‘I AM’ does not judge perfect or imperfect. ‘I AM’ is just about Being the most divine part of ourselves, and allowing that resonance to filter through every fiber of ourselves.
When we change Being Perfect to Being the Best that we are, we see and acknowledge All that We Are. We allow the Light of our individual ‘I AM’ selves
to shine at our brightest. Everything that we do will carry our Divine Resonance.
‘I AM’ the Best that I Am.
Yes you are!
In my experience as a human and as a therapist, one of the deepest, purest desires that all incarnated souls have is to be loved unconditionally – to be accepted for who we are, to be acknowledged for who we are.
Unfortunately, our conditioning and our culture does not allow for this.
Since the dawn of time, Homo Sapiens have always been a social species, and have continued to evolve to be a social species – for the simple reason of survival. The individual had to fit into and within a group social structure. If the individual does not, then they are rejected and ejected from the group – forcing them to fend for themselves. Also,
within a group structure, there is a hierarchy – the Alpha being the leader – all the way down to the Omega. There is always jostling to be the Alpha for they call the shots – if lucky for the highest good of the group, but more likely than not, for their own personal agenda.
As we have evolved, the one thing that has never changed is the social structure – the hierarchy – the need for power and control. In the Middle Ages, the Feudal System ran rampant all over the world. Difference and diversity
evoked (and still does) prejudice – religious believes, family structures, colour of the skin, education levels, gender, sexual orientation.
In short – it was a dangerous place to work from our ‘I AM’. It was much safer to work with those in control, fit in and do as we are told.
How exhausting has it been to suppress our I AM for I Have to Be?
Am I only beautiful because I embrace the body image that the media promotes? Am I only successful because I have a ‘respectable’ job that earns me a certain income? Am I only accepted because I have a house with a picket fence, in a heterosexual relationship with 2.5 children and a dog? Am I only ‘good’ because I follow religious texts and way of life?
All my life, I feel like I have been working towards my ‘I AM’ – this seemingly unattainable higher wisdom, better person, that seems so far out of my reach – listening to external council to achieve the seemingly impossible.
Now – it’s all changed.
Since embodying my I AM, I have decided to work from my I AM, instead of towards it. I have decided to follow my internal council, the deep wisdom of my I AM to make my decisions and carve out my path.
Sure it has and will ruffle a few feathers. I just see them to be in dissonance with my I AM – and that is fine. They just have a different path to follow, a different vibration to be in.
In staying true and working from my ‘I AM’, I AM in full resonance with myself.
I AM authentic.
In being in full resonance with myself, I am slowly opening up to realize that the conditional love that I have been seeking is from myself – the deepest truest part of me.
I Love Myself – Just The Way I AM
In slowly working towards loving myself at the deepest level, self acceptance and self acknowledgement is slowly permeating my being, as rays of joy and freedom slowly seep into my person.
By working from ‘I AM’ and slowly letting go of judgment of self, I find myself taking my first steps towards letting go of judgment of others.
By working from ‘I AM’ in acknowledging and accepting myself for who I AM, I find myself slowing acknowledging and accepting others for who they are.
For They Are as I AM.