The current consciousness that we are living in is a world where our worth is quantifiable. Even the term ‘Net Worth’ measures how much external value we have, as opposed to internal value – the higher the ‘net worth’, the higher the perceived achievement. ‘Net worth’ does not take into account how it was achieved – with integrity or without; with love or without. It only takes into account how much material value we have.
Our entire lives revolve around money – what we do to earn it, to pay our bills, to put a roof over our heads, to put food into our bellies, to quench our thirst. Our very survival is now quantifiable and reduced to money. Many of us spend a considerable amount of time doing what makes us stressed, sometimes angry or mind numbing, to earn a living to survive. It is considered a luxury to spend our time doing what we love or are passionate about – that only a minority are free enough to enjoy.
In this time of change, as we move towards a new consciousness, it is time to start thinking differently about investing in our selves, in ‘I AM’.
I have a dear friend, who is a very talented leather artisan, with whom I share similar interests and hobbies. At the start of this year, we agreed on an exchange, which was totally grounded in mutual respect and consideration for one another, as well as a shared love and appreciation in our common interests. It is by far the best exchange I had done in a long time. What this taught me is that when the currency of trade is joy and love, with consideration and mutual respect, in full resonance of ‘I AM’, the transaction just fills the heart and soul, and is wonderful.
The love and joy we feel, and the resonance with ‘I AM’ is much more valuable than anything that a quantifiable exchange can provide. This is the start towards investing in self – in ‘I AM’.
There is a big difference between investing in Ego, and investing in ‘I AM’. Ego investments fall along the lines of ‘how much more’ – How much more can I have? How much more have I over the Joneses? How much more do I need to make up my Net worth? Investing in Ego is quantifiable.
Investing in ‘I AM’, on the other hand, does not take into account of how much more – quantifiable. It takes into account the quality. Does this investment give me joy? Does this investment make me happy – deep within ‘I AM’? Does this investment resonate with ‘I AM’? Investing in ‘I AM’ is qualitative.
How do we move from working to survive to investing in ‘I AM’?
Let us start with a series of little steps :
Invest in ‘I AM’… are we not worth it?
I need to ask – when is it that we stopped loving ourselves – really caring and nuturing, appreciating ourselves? When did we start taking ourselves for granted, pushing ourselves to our limits – and then some? When did we stop taking the time to pat ourselves on the back for achieving something? When we get a little run down why do we curse our limitations instead of seeing it as a way that our body is crying out for rest and nurturing?
When did we start accepting that working in jobs that we are not happy in or do not satisfy our souls’ longing to pay our bills is what we deserve? When did we start accepting that staying in a relationship or keeping a friendship that is not in our resonance is the best thing for us?
The more important question is why?
I’ve heard all the reasons – we have responsibilities, we don’t have the luxury of doing what we want, we do this to survive, it’s just the way it is, what other choice have I got?
‘I AM’ Loving Myself – that’s a choice we have.
Do I need more time for self reflection? Take it – the laundry can wait another day.
Do I need a more fulfilling job, that stirs my passion? Find it – no employer or job is indispensable.
Do I need a life partner who is more in resonance with my vibration and loves me for who I am? Go for it – do not settle for less.
‘I AM’ Loving Myself.
Our ‘I AM’ holds our individual divine imprint and vibration of Universal Source. This is our unique make up and resonance. When our outside is in dissonance with our ‘I AM’ within, we are sent warning signals from our ‘I AM’ – starting gently at first, and growing more acute if the dissonance gets stronger or continues for long periods of time :
The worse it gets, the louder the signals become – self harm, destructive
behaviour, feelings of wanting to end life.
‘I AM’ Loving Myself.
What can we do to start loving ourselves more?
To connect with ‘I AM’ within, one has to disconnect from everything else outside. Is it not worth it and important to make time for the most important relationship in our lives – our selves?
‘I AM’ Loving Myself.
Choose ‘I AM’.
Choose to honour and nurture ourselves.
I think it is time I ‘fess up – I have been, and still am, a massive Judith McNaught fan. For those who is unaware of who she is – Judith McNaught is the best romance writer I have read. Intensely emotionally charged, with rapier wit, she wrote heart melting tales of true love between innocent sassy heroines and smoldering roguish heros. As a young adult, her books were (as still are) my guilty pleasure.
Armed with the memories of her tales, wide eyed and enthusiastic, I started pursuing my own journey of true love – my own happily ever after with my One and Only. 12 years later saw me crying over a bowl of noodle soup, with a good guy friend of almost 20 years, who is gay, lamenting to him about my third very painful breakup. When he’d had enough of witnessing the drowning of the spring rolls with tears and my accounts of the devastating failure of finding true love, he asked me something that I would never forget.
“Do you want a Man, or a Baby?”
After a few moments of silence of me questioning his sanity, he explained to me that having met all my failed relationships, he noticed that they were all cut from the same cloth. The relationships flowed smoothly whenever I agreed with them, but the minute I said no and stood up for myself, he noticed the guys threw a tantrum and the relationship screeched to a halt.
“Only babies throw tantrums. Men don’t. Men respect and care enough to listen to their partners, to work things out,” was his sage advice. “So, do you want a Man or a Baby?”
I went away from that dinner enlightened. What was it about me that was attracted to partners who not only wanted their needs to be continually fulfilled yet not value me? And what was it about me that wanted to just please and coddle them despite my own worth? Most importantly, why was I weeping over guys who wanted to keep me small?
That night I vowed to embark on a journey of true love – with my ‘I AM’. For five years, I remained single – casually dating guys – learning about what I wanted in a partner, what worked and did not work for me. I worked through my own self worth issues, filled as many holes within myself, started loving myself and stopped believing that I had to bend over backwards to have someone love me.
When I felt ready and whole within myself and in touch with ‘I AM’, I then wrote a list to manifest what I wanted in a partner. Three months later, he manifested, and he completely was not what I expected. He was a lot older than me, lived on the other side of the world, and was in a completely different phase of his life than I was. However, whenever I was with him, I felt a little tickle deep in the pit of my tummy, which I now recognise as my ‘I AM’ centre. My ‘I AM’ recognised him.
I am not saying that there were no challenges – there were plenty. We did the inter-continental long distance thing for 3 years, before we decided that it was financially beneficial for me to move to his part of the world. We had to traverse age, cultural and lifestyle gaps – and we did. The reason why we are working is because we both knew our own, and acknowledged and respected the other’s ‘I AM’. When challenges emerged, we both discussed it, heard one another, respected the other’s needs to reach common ground, and were equally committed to grow and evolve our own selves to make the relationship work. We just wanted to BE with the other.
I had finally found a Man.
Before anyone could love me, I had to first love myself and be aligned and love with my own ‘I AM’. I needed to fill my own holes. Only when I felt full and complete could I recognise and receive the love of another ‘I AM’.
Andy taught me the joys of being loved for who I AM, and of receiving as much as giving. When there is a meeting and resonance of the loving ‘I AM’, the Ego, Mental, Emotional and Spiritual states align with that love. There in lies the vibration of deep unwavering love that two partners share.
Is Andy my Twin Flame, One and Only or my Soul Mate? I do not know, and nor does it matter. All that matters is that at the present moment, we love each other’s ‘I AM’ from the depths of our own ‘I AM’ – and thus our entire Being – mental, emotional, spiritual and physical – is aligned in Being with one another.
Let everyday Be your Valentine’s Day.